E-this post is for you since you asked me(no told me)to explain it! So here goes, this is me being totally honest with a few of my closest friends and some strangers who visit from time to time. My hope is that God will use my words to speak to you in whatever circumstances you might be facing.
THE LIFE OF OBEDIENCE LEADS TO AN ABUNDANT LIFE!
Here's the part where I'm going to try and do my best to explain so bear with me. The past couple of weeks, no months, have been STRESSFUL and very CRAZY for me. School is very stressful for me this year because I'm having to teach a K-1 bridge class(I have kindergartens along with 5 first graders), which means I'm trying my best to teach two
curriculums to my wonderful, hardworking, students. These days I'm lucky if I leave the school by 5 or 5:30, which makes for a very long day. Another part of my life that has been stressful is in my personal life. One of my hearts deepest desires is to be a wife and mother. I really thought that I had surrendered this area of singleness over to the Lord a long time ago and I felt pretty content with where God had me, but over the last month God has opened my eyes to the fact that I keep taking my singleness back. I've let the thought of marriage and motherhood become an idol in my life. Thinking that being a wife and a mommy will make my life complete and whole, fulfilling God's purpose for my life and that is a sin.
This year in
BSF(Bible Study Fellowship) we are studying the life of Moses. This has been an AMAZING study and God has really used this study to challenge me and grow my faith. A couple of weeks ago, God brought it to my attention how much I was complaining about where he has me in my own life. I've been studying about how God brought the Israelites out of slavery and out from under the hand of Pharaoh, protected them from the plagues, and provided manna and quail for them in the desert yet the Israelites doubted God's plan and complained every step along the way. God opened my eyes and made me realize that that's exactly what I had been doing in my own life. I have been complaining about where he has me and doubting that his plan is the best plan for my life. I was complaining about my job and the fact that I don't even have a boyfriend and how I'm getting ready to turn the BIG 30 in about a week and how in my perfect plan for my life I should already me married and have at least one kiddo by now. Recently, God has brought me to a point where I'm so tired about complaining about where he has me. My hearts desire is to put my trust in him and surrender EVERY area of my life to him and TRUST in his perfect plan for my life. The last couple of weeks God has given me 2 verses to meditate on and they have brought me so much peace, comfort, and encouragement.
"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
I need to be quiet on the inside even when circumstances around me are crazy. I can do this because of who God is. He is the mighty God who's in control of everything.
"Be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee." Hebrews 13:5
I don't need to compare what I have to what others have. I need to be satisfied and happy with what God has given me. I need to remember that God will never leave me and that is better than anything else I could have.
The hard part has been applying these verses to my life. The past couple of weeks have been some of the sweetest times before the Lord, but also some of the hardest times. I'm really trying to surrender my job to the Lord and remember my passion for teaching and working with kids. I'm also trying to surrender my singleness to God. I'm praying that I will truly see my time of singleness as a blessing and a time in which God is preparing me for something greater. My hearts desire is to be content and know that the greatest thing I could ever have I already have and that is Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior! So for me, I'm trying to be obedient to what God is calling me to do right now and that includes being devoted to him with all my heart and soul, to family and friends, being the best teacher I can be, and serving him through the ministries he has placed upon my heart for me to be a part of. Being obedient to God with these things will bring me love, peace, and joy and that is what the abundant life is all about!!!
E- I bet you didn't know that I was going to write a book to explain my thankfulness =)